I have been gifted with relatively good health for most of my life. But after I had my son, I have gone through numerous health crisis’s and passages. My intuition is that I have asked a great deal of my body throughout the course of my life. As a dancer, I pushed myself towards the extreme for more than two decades. My body became the instrument of my soul calling and longing - expressing both the ecstasy and the anguish that is housed within it.
Coupling this with unresolved childhood and ancestral trauma - and after the birth of my son - it was as if my body just said no. I can no longer put her on an extreme schedule, I can no longer push her into extreme experiences. The delicacy, the sensitivity, the vulnerability which were part of my initial makeup have multiplied these last years - creating a complete reorientation for myself as I move entirely into the healing realms.
It is as if my soul said - it is time.
It is time to stop running, it is time to stop pretending, it is time to stop pushing, it is time to stop demanding. It is time to listen deeply to the sorrow, it is time to tend to the trauma more directly, it is time to embrace entirely the healing path - and to merge with spirit fully.
It is time to remember more deeply who you are, it is time to work entirely from the level of spirit, it is time to stop pretending that you ever fit in with the structures of this world. This has only been reinforced by our current world situation.
This excruciating and exquisite release, coupled with the embrace of motherhood, has been a total metamorphosis of being which is ongoing and unrelenting. It has brought me closer into the reality that every single illness has a profound spiritual dimension. And it is this dimension which is far more powerful than all others. Every illness is an opportunity to purge, to release, to reconfigure, to reconnect, and most of all - to remember. Every illness is a call back, back, back into the sacred nature of your own being and the miraculous experience of your own heart and spirit.
To all those suffering with these afflictions - give yourself the permission needed to weep today. Give yourself the gift of your own undivided compassion. Give yourself the love that you were not properly given. For you may have been abandoned by others - as so many souls have been - but - we do not need to abandon ourselves. You are seen, your cry is heard, and you are loved.
Blessed Holy Days
Blessed Be
